3 Steps to Conquering Fear
Many people tell me I am fearless, which is wildly untrue, I am not really fearless, but I have done things that scared the bejesus out of me. I have jumped off a high dive, rode my horse next to a sheer cliff and gone to NYC on New Years eve. I was scared to do all of them, and there are plenty of other things that scare me in this world but my father taught me this simple three-step plan when I was younger. He used it to help me get over my fear of snakes and it worked so well I have been known to catch and relocate snakes that wander into my garden or garage. I used the same system when I decided I wanted to jump off the high dive and have continued to use it as a good starter when I want to do something, but some type of fear holds me back. Here are the three steps that will give you a chance to overcome your fears and really accomplish what you want to in life.
Step 1: Learn About Your Fear
Many of our fears are more about the unknown than the known. I don’t know what will happen if I try this. What if I fall? What if I fail? (Huge fear!) Knowing more about your fear will give you a good idea of what you need to do to keep your fear from happening. Read about it, talk to people about, be proactive about what you are afraid of. In many cases, there are support groups or just groups of like-minded people in general that can help you get to where you want to go. I belong to a Facebook group of bloggers that is super supportive just for this reason.
When I was sitting down and thinking about how I could help people the most, this blog was what I came up with, and it scared me. Putting myself out there is a scary thing, what if people hated it, what if it helped no one, am I being a little too grandiose thinking my little blog will help people? Lots of fears, lots of questions and not many answers so I went looking for some. I discovered Pintrest and am learning to use it. I learned about WordPress, I learned how and why other people started their blog, and I enrolled in the Elite Blog Academy to learn about blogging. I still get a little nervous every time I hit publish, but the more I learn, the less fear I have.
Step 2: Make A Plan You Can Live With
Now that you have some more information, you can truly see what you’re up against. The fear will not be gone, but you will know which parts are worth worrying about, and which parts aren’t. When you make your plan, plan to take small steps, use the information that you gained in the first step to make an achievable plan. Make small goals each week and be sure they are healthy and attainable. We all see ads that read “lose 30 lbs in 30 days!” if you have done your research you will know that is probably unattainable and unhealthy. A better plan might be to lose 2 lbs a week.
A really important part of making any small steps plan is to celebrate your small accomplishments. Each time you hit a a small goal, celebrate! (You can read my post about Small Wins here)
Always remember if you can’t control it, give it to God!
Step 3: Execute
Now that you have some knowledge, and a plan you can go out there and conquer that fear. It might still be scary and you might get to the edge of the high dive and want to turn back but remind yourself of all of those little victories, of all of the things you know about whatever it is you are trying to do and do it. You will feel amazing when you accomplish a goal that involved something that scared you enough to think you could never do it.
Fear is a nasty thing and sometimes overcoming it can be just as scary as the original fear itself. We all deal with our own set of fears, some are legitimate, some not so much. My fear of spiders is probably not that legitimate but my fear of rejection when I try and find a publisher for my novel probably is a little bit more grounded. Some fears may never be truly overcome, but they can become more manageable. Spiders still freak me out, but I do not turn into a running screaming ninny when I see one. As you put this plan in place you will find yourself doing things you never dreamed that you could.
Learn, Plan and Conquer!