The Secret to Being Comfortable Alone

As women we are often told not to go places alone, we go to bars in herds, we go out to lunches or dinners, we have girls night out, heck we even go to the bathroom together! While all of this togetherness is really great, it sometimes leaves us feeling scared, lonely or embarrassed when we have to do things by ourselves.
Being comfortable alone is essential to your happiness.  It gives you the freedom to explore your thoughts and the world without having to ask someone their opinion. It also gives you the power to understand yourself before inviting other influences into your life.

The Secret to Being Comfortable Alone

Alone With Your Thoughts

This phrase is scary. Understanding how you think and acknowledging your thoughts is a really important part of finding your happiness.  It is great for the creative process and for the logical process of planning your day, week, or life.  If you are just learning to be comfortable alone it might be a good idea to take 15 minutes or a half hour and sit in a quiet room and journal your thoughts.  Journaling is a great way to get started understanding where you are in your thought process.  By writing down your thoughts you can start to understand your real desires and come up with great ideas on how to achieve them.

Once you have gotten comfortable with 15 minutes, stretch it a little longer each week.  Do 15 minutes this week, 20 minutes the next week and so on until you get to about an hour.  With an hour you can come up with great ideas, start a gratitude journal or just ponder where you are in life and where you would like to go.  Many of our great leaders and top professionals take an hour each morning and just think.

Out to Dinner Alone

Eating out alone is one of those things many people find awkward at best and terrifying at worst.  When the hostess says “How many” some people feel embarrassed to say “1”.  So first we will start with a few affirmations that you can use to help get yourself through the door.

  • No one cares that you are eating alone
  • They are not staring at you
  • They are not whispering that you must be some kind of loser

If you are really nervous about eating dinner alone, sit at the bar if the restaurant has one. You don’t have to drink alcohol and the bartender will chat with you even if you do just order a diet coke. It is also quite likely that some of the other patrons will talk to you as well.

When I was a kid, I was always inspired by women that went out to dinner alone.  They were brave enough to go to dinner themselves, they would often have a book or newspaper that they read as they casually enjoyed their dinner. It appeared to my young eyes that they were in total control of their world and they pretty much rocked at life.  Inspire a young girl, go to dinner by yourself.

Traveling Alone

Traveling alone is a little bit more daunting than eating out and honestly if I am traveling for leisure I prefer to go with my husband because I enjoy sharing the experience with him.  Sadly spouses are usually not welcome on business trips, so I have become pretty good at traveling alone as well.

Here are a few tips on enjoying traveling alone.

  • Bring a book on tape.  If you driving, plug into your stereo, if you are flying lay back with your ear buds and get lost in the story.
  • Pack healthy snacks.  This doesn’t work to well if you are flying but it is great if you are driving.  Frozen grapes, nuts and licorice whips are my favorites.   If you are flying you can purchase snacks once you get past security, but beware it is $$$$$.
  • Ask the locals.  No matter the reason for your travel, always try and find someone local to recommend cool things to do or great places to eat.

If you would like to do some major traveling alone check out Adventurous Kate . This girl quit her job at 26 and has been traveling the world solo ever since.  She is the rock star of global travel.

Discover the world on your terms

In this world we are so distracted by cell phones, games and television we rarely take the time to sit and get to know ourselves.  Learning about yourself and your wants and desires beyond the material items will really help you on your journey to happiness.  Take some time to corral all of those thoughts bouncing around in your head,  take yourself to that new Thai place that everyone is afraid to try, or better yet take yourself on a trip to some place that you have always dreamed of going.




Leave a Reply