How to Find Happiness When Your World is Crashing Down

We both stood there crying. We stared at each other, watching the tears stream down, but never stepping closer than arm’s length. “Well, I guess that’s it” he choked out, looking around at the empty apartment we once called home.

Divorce, death, job loss and many other circumstances can make us feel like the world is crashing down around us.  We stand there staring at the ruins of our lives and wonder how we will ever pull it all back together.  But it can be done.  Our first tentative tiny steps will carry us out of the ruins and back into the world.

Help Someone Else

Kristen Kuzmic, a hilarious mom Vlogger, posted this video about her turning point in life.  She talks about being dollar store broke, depressed, desperate and trying to figure out how to get out.  Kristen turned to the one little thing she still believed she was good at…making a great meal, cheap.

She used that one last little bit of talent she thought she might have and made a meal. She invited anyone who needed a free meal to show up at her tiny apartment, and she fed them.  Helping others helped her feel valuable again and was a major turning point in her life.

Maybe you don’t know how to make a great meal cheap, but chances are, you can do something.  You can teach an adult to read, you can fix a flat tire, you can groom a dog or you can organize any event. There is something you can do.

So as your world crashes down around you, offer your best service, for free. The people who show up to take you up on your offer will not only make you feel like a valuable member of society again, they are going to help you hold up the walls.

Ask For Help

Chances are when whatever happened to make your world come down happened, there were people in your life who said: “call if you need anything.”

Guess what? Most of those people really did mean it.

Think of the times you have said the exact same thing.  Did you mean it?  If one of those people called you today, even with your world crashing down, would you do what you could to help?  My guess is the answer is yes.

Asking for help is hard.  Often times people wait until the very last second to ask for help.  Pride gets in the way.  Don’t be afraid to lean on other people.  Just like helping someone else out can bring joy to your life, allowing someone else to help you can bring joy to their life.  You win. They win. Pick up the phone.

Make a Plan

There is nothing that will make you feel like you are pulling yourself out of a bad situation like making a plan.  When you start planning ahead, you start focusing on the future. You focus on the possibilities and you start to see a little light at the end of the tunnel.  When you are making a plan there are a few things you need to keep in mind.

  • Start small.  The first few steps in your plan should be tiny steps designed to help you get your confidence back.
  • Pick one thing.  In my how to make a life plan post I talk about the importance of triaging goals and only doing the ones most important to you.  When your world is crashing down, pick just one thing to focus on until you are in a better place.
  • Get creative.  Your plan doesn’t need to be a cookie cutter template of everyone else’s goals for you.  In fact, those cookie cutter ideas are not going to work in times like these.  So get a little creative and try to think outside the box.
  • Choose a few trusted advisors.  When your world is crashing, there is going to be a lot of noise, and a lot of people giving you bad advice.  Pick a few trusted friends, clergy members, or relatives and let them help you rebuild.  If you have an idea you aren’t sure about, these are the people to bounce it off of.
  • Don’t post it on Facebook.  While it may be tempting to try and reach a wider audience when you are trying to come up with some goals, putting your ideas out there for thousands of people to read is going to give you thousands of opinions.  You will end up in a puddle of confusion with no clear path ahead.

Even though the world may look bleak right now, start looking ahead and trying to find a path out of your situation.  That tiny pin prick of light can lift your spirits like nothing else.

Be Still and Pray

God answers prayers.  He answers mine and he will answer yours, but if you are not listening, he will be very hard to hear. Take some time to be still.  To sit in silence and clear your mind.  Read the Bible, pray and listen.  Tell God about your issues, vent , cry, give everything you have to God.  He has big shoulders, he can handle it. When you are done, sit still and listen.

If you have no one you can ask for help, you have me.  My email address is Michele@MichelesFindingHappiness.com my cell is 804-678-8906 reach out anytime *I am not a licensed therapist, but I have two good shoulders for crying and it would bring joy into my life to help you devise a plan to get your life moving forward again.

11 Comments

  1. Laura

    August 23, 2017 at 7:24 am

    Asking for help is probably one of the hardest things but once you’ve done it you feel so much better. This is a fantastic blog post, I’ve gone through some crashes but it’s the people who are there to pick you up that are so important!

    1. Michele Cook

      August 23, 2017 at 7:56 am

      Laura thanks for the kind words. I don’t think anyone lives through life without a few crashes, but asking for help really will make you feel better.

  2. Janet

    August 23, 2017 at 7:24 am

    Some excellent thoughts and advice and kindness.

    1. Michele Cook

      August 23, 2017 at 7:56 am

      Thanks Janet!

  3. Julia Jordan

    August 23, 2017 at 8:24 am

    Thank you for sharing

  4. Deborah

    August 23, 2017 at 12:15 pm

    As someone in the midst of a storm, such wise advise.

    1. Michele Cook

      August 23, 2017 at 12:20 pm

      Deborah,
      Sorry to hear you are going through a storm right now. Hold tight and please let me know if I can help.

  5. Rose Barnett (@mRoseBarnett)

    August 23, 2017 at 12:18 pm

    This is basically where I’m at… feeling like rock bottom because of recent changes and it’s not insurmountable, but I need to be more proactive. I like the story about Kristen too that is meaningful. Small things can change our outlook and seeing what we’re good at. I’m trying that with my blog. It’s about moms struggling, but in a way it’s like your blog, how to FIND happiness in the hard things. I’d love for you to check it out

    1. Michele Cook

      August 23, 2017 at 6:31 pm

      Hi Rose,
      Glad to hear you are a “recovering pessimist”. I did check out your blog and it’s great, congratulations on being nominated for a blogging award! If you ever need any help please reach out, being a momma is hard work and takes its toll on us physically and mentally.
      If you ever need any blogging help, I do run a service called Bloggers Little Helper, you can find out more about it at http://michelemcook.com/bloggers-little-helper/ There is also a list of 101 free resources for bloggers if you are ever on the look out for a little free help.

      Thanks for reading!

  6. shelley

    August 23, 2017 at 10:03 pm

    I’m sitting reading all of this and thinking what good advice it is and then I get to the part about “Don’t post it on Facebook” and that’s when I nearly did an out loud, “Amen!” Lots of time people post their troubles on Facebook and all it ends up doing is making things worse. I’m sure it’s an attempt to reach out for moral support, but I always wonder how often it really works. This is all great advice for when life is stomping all over you.

    1. Michele Cook

      August 23, 2017 at 10:24 pm

      Hi Shelley,

      I nearly laughed out loud at your comment. Facebook can be great for some things, but it can drag you down in just the same way. It seems every post I see when life is crashing down on someone it turns a bad situation worse.

      Thanks for the comment!

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