How to Find Happiness When Your World is Crashing Down
We both stood there crying. We stared at each other, watching the tears stream down, but never stepping closer than arm’s length. “Well, I guess that’s it” he choked out, looking around at the empty apartment we once called home.
Divorce, death, job loss and many other circumstances can make us feel like the world is crashing down around us. We stand there staring at the ruins of our lives and wonder how we will ever pull it all back together. But it can be done. Our first tentative tiny steps will carry us out of the ruins and back into the world.
Help Someone Else
Kristen Kuzmic, a hilarious mom Vlogger, posted this video about her turning point in life. She talks about being dollar store broke, depressed, desperate and trying to figure out how to get out. Kristen turned to the one little thing she still believed she was good at…making a great meal, cheap.
She used that one last little bit of talent she thought she might have and made a meal. She invited anyone who needed a free meal to show up at her tiny apartment, and she fed them. Helping others helped her feel valuable again and was a major turning point in her life.
Maybe you don’t know how to make a great meal cheap, but chances are, you can do something. You can teach an adult to read, you can fix a flat tire, you can groom a dog or you can organize any event. There is something you can do.
So as your world crashes down around you, offer your best service, for free. The people who show up to take you up on your offer will not only make you feel like a valuable member of society again, they are going to help you hold up the walls.
Ask For Help
Chances are when whatever happened to make your world come down happened, there were people in your life who said: “call if you need anything.”
Guess what? Most of those people really did mean it.
Think of the times you have said the exact same thing. Did you mean it? If one of those people called you today, even with your world crashing down, would you do what you could to help? My guess is the answer is yes.
Asking for help is hard. Often times people wait until the very last second to ask for help. Pride gets in the way. Don’t be afraid to lean on other people. Just like helping someone else out can bring joy to your life, allowing someone else to help you can bring joy to their life. You win. They win. Pick up the phone.
Make a Plan
There is nothing that will make you feel like you are pulling yourself out of a bad situation like making a plan. When you start planning ahead, you start focusing on the future. You focus on the possibilities and you start to see a little light at the end of the tunnel. When you are making a plan there are a few things you need to keep in mind.
- Start small. The first few steps in your plan should be tiny steps designed to help you get your confidence back.
- Pick one thing. In my how to make a life plan post I talk about the importance of triaging goals and only doing the ones most important to you. When your world is crashing down, pick just one thing to focus on until you are in a better place.
- Get creative. Your plan doesn’t need to be a cookie cutter template of everyone else’s goals for you. In fact, those cookie cutter ideas are not going to work in times like these. So get a little creative and try to think outside the box.
- Choose a few trusted advisors. When your world is crashing, there is going to be a lot of noise, and a lot of people giving you bad advice. Pick a few trusted friends, clergy members, or relatives and let them help you rebuild. If you have an idea you aren’t sure about, these are the people to bounce it off of.
- Don’t post it on Facebook. While it may be tempting to try and reach a wider audience when you are trying to come up with some goals, putting your ideas out there for thousands of people to read is going to give you thousands of opinions. You will end up in a puddle of confusion with no clear path ahead.
Even though the world may look bleak right now, start looking ahead and trying to find a path out of your situation. That tiny pin prick of light can lift your spirits like nothing else.
Be Still and Pray
God answers prayers. He answers mine and he will answer yours, but if you are not listening, he will be very hard to hear. Take some time to be still. To sit in silence and clear your mind. Read the Bible, pray and listen. Tell God about your issues, vent , cry, give everything you have to God. He has big shoulders, he can handle it. When you are done, sit still and listen.
If you have no one you can ask for help, you have me. My email address is Michele@MichelesFindingHappiness.com my cell is 804-678-8906 reach out anytime *I am not a licensed therapist, but I have two good shoulders for crying and it would bring joy into my life to help you devise a plan to get your life moving forward again.