Do You Feel Like You’re Stuck on the Sidelines? Get in the Game!

You have a dream. You have researched, made some contacts, even drew up a plan to get there. And then…Nothing. Life happened and you have sat on the sidelines, watching your friends reach for their dreams while you reach for the remote control.  You have your reasons, I know, but wouldn’t it nice to stop watching and start doing?

You can do it, and with this post, I hope to help you get there.

do you feel like you're stuck on the sidelines? Get in the game!

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Surround Yourself with Positive People

This is the first thing you need to do and it is a hard lesson to learn. We all have friends who drag us down. Maybe they complain all day, maybe they root for the bad things to happen, or maybe they thrive on drama, whatever it is, it is time to push them away and surround yourself with a more positive group of people.

What makes this so hard is these people are your friends, they have seen you at your best and your worst.  You have a history together and you truly care about them. You really do want to help them, but every single day is another tragic event and you are running out of time and energy to deal with their problems.

The other problem with pushing some of these people away is the impending guilt trip. They love to “woe is me” to anyone and everyone and you are afraid to get caught up in their drama.

Here is the truth, that person is pulling you down, and if you don’t put a little distance between yourself and negative Nancy, she will continue to hinder your upward trajectory.

Where do I Find These Magical People?

You are an adult, you don’t have time to go out and find a whole new group of friends! I hear you but there are people out there just like you who are looking for a generous supportive group of friends.  Who have pushed away from their negative Nancies and are looking to find a group of truly caring friends.

The scariest part (says the giant introvert) is putting yourself out there.

I did it. You can too. My best advice is to join a few groups in the areas you are interested in and then get involved. Don’t sit on the sidelines, volunteer to lead a project, host a meeting, or create something useful for the group. Even Facebook groups can work to get you more involved. Join a big group and then tell people you are looking to start a small mastermind and define the people you are looking for.

The people are out there. You might have to dig a little bit, but they are out there.

Photo by Joshua Sazon on Unsplash

Define the Goal

Once you have a group of supportive people around you the sky is the limit. Now you really need to drill down and define your goal.  Get really specific. If you want to be an author, what type of book do you want to write? How long do you reasonably think it should take you to finish the first draft? Second draft?

Defining your goal gives you a road map of where you want to go. It makes it easier to see the small steps you need to take and prepare for the tough things that will need to happen.

If you want a little more help on defining and planning your goals check out one of these posts.

How to Create a Killer Goal 
How to Plan a Goal Development Day

Reframe the Excuses

What some call excuses, others call obstacles. I prefer the word obstacle because it is actionable. An obstacle can be overcome, an excuse just, is. Everyone has obstacles in their life. No one gets to the top or makes their dream come true without having a few problems to overcome.  Sometimes they even fail before they overcome them.

Every time the words “I can’t because” come out of your mouth or go through your brain, STOP.

Those words are excuse words. You are not going to get into the game making excuses. Instead, flip it around as a problem to solve, and then come up with a solution. 

“I can’t because I don’t have enough money” – how can you come up with more money? Take a side job? Cut your spending elsewhere? Sell something you don’t use?

“I can’t because I have a family/children” –  Can you join a parent’s group that swaps child care? Have you sat down with your family and talked to them about your dreams? Can you get up a little earlier to get some time to work on your plans?

The point is, whatever the reason you think you need to stay on the sidelines, there is a solution. You might have to get a little creative, but there is a solution out there.

There Will Be Ups and Downs

In your journey, there will be good parts and there will be bad parts. You are going to have days where you are so excited you feel like you will burst out of your skin and other days you want to crawl under a rock. You will make good decisions and bad ones. Learn from both.

Either way, after the feelings die down, take some time to reflect on how it happened. On the good side, try and figure out how and why it worked. Can you duplicate the lesson in another area? Do the same on the bad side. Are you making the same decision somewhere else?

Just remember, a mistake is information you get just after you need it.

A mistake is information you get just after you needed it. #learning #inspiration #truth Click To Tweet

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